4 Lessons My Exes Taught Me

Hey Guys

So Valentine’s Day is finally over *phew* After having to scroll through social media and witness all the “lovey dovey” posts, I recalled a question that I always seem to get asked “Why are you single?” then there’s the continuation of why they think I shouldn’t be.

Well, perhaps I’m crazy or something *jk*. Anyways,  I’ve been single for almost three years and I’m not even sure I’m ready for another relationship. Instead I’ve been thinking about the things I learnt from my previous relationships and how I can act upon them to make the next one really work.

Image result for flowerssource

Don’t Rush/Force “LOVE”

For some reason I always find myself being the first one to develop real feelings for the other person or maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic. As a result I’d put myself out there trying to make them fall in love with me to rush the process along. BIG MISTAKE!

Whereas you may be ready to love the other person may not. So, enjoy the moment and take things slow; It’s a process – learn about their likes/dislikes, goals or future plans and everything else should come together if it’s meant to be. However, also know when to walk away if commitment may not be a thing for the other person.


Communication is KEY

I’m sure you’ve heard this one before *probably like countless times* but it’s TRUE! I may have a slight problem communicating my feelings to other people, but it’s always better to say what’s on your mind. Know how to communicate with your partner, it doesn’t always have to be an argument. “It’s not always what you say, but HOW you say it.”

It’s okay to talk about things that are not working in a relationship. This does not mean the relationship is falling apart.


DON’T Settle

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the possibilities of someone or their potential, but when the red flags start popping up don’t make excuses. Know what you want and what you deserve and don’t take anything less.

   It sucks by why settle for less than you're worth:          Sometimes a heartbreak shakes you awake, and helps you see that you are worth more than what you were settling for.:

#KnowYourWorth


Opposites DON’T always attract

Of course you know the saying “Opposites attract, and likes repel”; it’s science related with magnetic fields blah blah but somehow got related to humans as well *nature*. Whereas I’d agree with it in some parts, others not entirely! It’s nice to have your own thing going for you and what not but you also need some common interests.

If you’re finding that you have to compromise aspects of your life to benefit the other person maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. When I say compromise I don’t mean the little things, but actually the things that make you YOU.

 

Well there you have it, the 4 lessons I learnt from my Ex’s (potentials). I tried not to ramble too much, but hopefully I learn to take my own advice and remember these lessons going forward with other relationships.
*Easier said than done, lol*

Did you learn anything from your exes?
Any advice for how you keep your relationship going?

 

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22 Comments Add yours

  1. Destiny says:

    Love this post ❤️ everything is on point !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aoife Brown says:

    Totally know what you mean about falling in quickly. Hopeless romantic here too. I think that it is a lovely thing
    though. Good communication is key for sure ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. astoldbyali says:

      It is lovely, just gotta find the right one to make it worth it. Thanks! xo

      Like

  3. Getting to know the person before you go in with the love is def important – great post!

    Carla x
    https://makemeupinside.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Definitely dont settle! #bloggerstribe

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Little Miss Sunshine says:

    I LOVE this post! We can learn so much from our exes. I’ve learnt that I deserve respect, + that certain behaviours cannot be excused. I’ve learnt that I am NOT the reason for his issues with how to treat women or his anger issues. It took time for me to realise that it’s not my fault, but I know that now. Beautiful post lovely xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. astoldbyali says:

      Thank you for your feedback! It’s so easy to blame ourselves for their shortfalls just to keep the relationship.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. lolitambonita says:

    Dont keep going just because of everything you put in! X
    Lola Mia // http://www.lolitabonita.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fab post & I agree with everything. Communication is such a big one! With social media, people forget to communicate – I am guilty for it myself.

    Withlovecharl.co.uk

    Liked by 2 people

    1. astoldbyali says:

      Thanks! Yes, social media definitely changed things with how we communicate. xo

      Like

  8. I totally agree on opposites don’t attract, I was with someone for two years and our dislike of each others likes just didn’t work in the end x

    Liked by 2 people

  9. clairelouiisexo says:

    I love this, it’s so true! I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I 100% agree with all of these. Fab post lovely xo
    http://www.clairelouiisexo.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. astoldbyali says:

      Thank you so much! 🌸

      Like

  10. I agree with you. Especially about not forcing love. I give that advice to my friends all the time whenever they seem in a rush to find someone only so that they don’t have to be single. Things take time, they will happen when they’re meant to! 🙂

    wordsandsmilesblog.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. astoldbyali says:

      It’s what I keep telling myself also, thanks for the feedback 🌸

      Liked by 1 person

  11. lozzyloo says:

    I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years and I can relate to all 4 of those lessons, and one of the biggest tips I can give anyone is trust! So generic but it is so true, if you can’t trust your partner or you have trust issues in general then it might not be the right thing for you at that current time! Great post by the way 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. astoldbyali says:

      Thanks for your tip and I definitely agree, trust is one the biggest factors in a relationship.
      Appreciate your feedback =)

      Liked by 1 person

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