I’m back again with another Friendship post, this time we’re discussing Love Languages. Love languages are basically the best way you receive love as well as show it; not everyone “speaks” the same language. You may think you’re showing love in one way, but it actually doesn’t resonate with your friend that way.
When we love people we want to show them that we love them, we want them to know, and it’s important to us to feel loved as well. I’ve been thinking about this for some time as to whether or not people actually knew their friend’s love languages or if they were just winging it. Maybe they think this whole concept is too complicated, but would you love for someone to continuously do something to you that you don’t like?
Upon research I found out there were actually FIVE different love languages:
Words of Affirmation
Expressing affection via written words or spoken words; these could be in the form of words of encouragement on a sticky note, a random message throughout the day, and compliments.
This is self-explanatory, some people love hugging, kissing, holding hands and generally just touching.
Small tokens of appreciation usually showing thoughtfulness
Another self-explanatory one, just spending time with each other whether on a lunch date, inviting them over, or doing an activity together.
Acts of Service
By offering a helping hand to decrease their workload or simply doing something you know they’d like. Help out with chores, cooking, running errands etc.
What’s my love language?
Out of the five listed above I think it was easy for me to distinguish which was my preferred love language that being quality time. Most of my friends may know that I actually enjoy staying home, but given the opportunity to hang out or do something with them and I’ll accept (depending on the circumstances). My past roommate used to do this a lot with me which I greatly appreciated; anything that was happening she invited me along and made sure she spent time with me. I also used to love when my friends would gladly say they’re coming by me to go to the beach, now we go out to lunch/drinks on occasion. I adore quality time more as opposed to hanging out with a large group of individuals.
My second preferred love language is probably a tie between words of affirmation and receiving gifts. I’m not a materialistic person and gifts don’t have to mean anything expensive; simply put if my friend buys/gives me food I feel loved. As for words of affirmation, every once in a while it’s great to hear someone express their love for you, as well as receive some words of encouragement. One of my friends and I do this ever so often and it’s like a breath of fresh air.
Acts of service is something I use to do with some of my friends in university to show them appreciation. These can include making breakfast/lunch or baking their favorite treats, surprising them with something at work, asking if they needed help with anything etc. Even now I show love through acts of service by carrying lunch for my boyfriend on occasion. So this is most likely my number one way of showing love.
Physical touch is probably my least favorite, well it depends on who I’m dealing with. With my friends in particular I’m not that affectionate. The most you’d get is a hug when we greet each other once in a while. But I can definitely pick up on others who like physical touch as their love language.
As I said before, learning and knowing your friends love language is equally as important as for your significant other. Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated.
From the list above, what’s your preferred love language?
Can you identify which ones are your friend’s preferred love language?