My Hair, My Rules

Having natural hair in this century may just be the most difficult or annoying thing ever, when it’s really supposed to be the opposite. You’d think with all the new age Black Girl Magic and promotion of Blackness that people around you would be more supportive.

NOPE.

Well I can’t throw everyone under the bus, but it’s almost like the majority still has a problem with black girls being natural. Actually, let me rephrase that – there’s a problem with black girls being natural with a hair texture different from loose bouncy curls. Yup, I think that’s it. Whereas my coworker would get praised for having her hair out in all its curly glory, they’d look on me and ask if I don’t like combing my hair.

I don’t think people realize how much their words can affect a person. I don’t think they think at all. You know the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” It’s a lie. No matter how tough you think you are words can affect you somehow.

Rule No. 1 – Constantly preaching negativity about one’s hair is not the way to go.

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After going through all of that, there are the select few who would be amazed at your afro or intrigued when you finally get that perfect twist out. Then out of nowhere there are hands in your hair, sometimes you don’t even see them and of course people think there’s nothing wrong with that.

One day I was at a conference and of course my hair was out. So I’m standing in the food line with a guy behind of me and he proceeds to rub his hand through my hair and not in a subtle manner. He did it like I was a dog and he was playing with my head. Being the person I am I got upset, because who are you to think that this was acceptable in a professional setting? What got me even more triggered is the fact that I told him to stop and asked why he thought it was okay? Would you come up to me and rub any other part of my body that way? Of course he didn’t understand the correlation. Go figure.

Rule No. 2 – I AM NOT A PET.  Thus, do not treat me like one; No you cannot touch MY hair.

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Why is it still a thing that people believe if your hair isn’t straightened or super curly that it isn’t “good hair“? in 2018! why can’t an afro be considered good hair? *It’s slowly being accepted.* 

Do you know the process it takes to get your hair dead straight? All the chemicals, extreme heat, pain and discomfort. Simply to look like our caucasian counterparts or be accepted in our society.

As I was growing up my hair went from shoulder length to chin length and even shorter. I had bobs then a pixie cut all because of the damage caused by the various chemicals, especially the water being used at the time. No matter how many treatments and trims I did it was never the same, so tell me why would I go back to that?

Even if we have natural hair and want to wear weaves or braids, we shouldn’t be persecuted. “Oh I thought you were team natural, why the change.” So you’re basically saying we can’t have any kind of expression with our hairstyles? Do you even know how the use of these hairstyles from time to time benefits our natural hair? There’s a reason they are referred to as protective styles.

Rule No. 3 – Leave people to do what they want a.k.a Mind your own business.

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So again I say: my hair, my rules.

  • I want to be natural and that’s not going to change. I will not be cutting it or putting chemicals in my hair.
  • Please do not touch my hair. I’m already fighting to keep moisture in and your fingertips will be taking that away.
  • If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it. Thank you.

For my fellow naturalistas, what trouble do you guys go through with being natural?

- Aaliyah

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Your hair is gorgeous! When I started wearing my hair in its natural state years ago (big ol’ afro puff), I got all sorts of stares and crazy comments–“Harriet Tubman,” “she needs a perm,” etc. Some people are just ignorant and have that unfortunate mindset that our hair is ugly, needs to be hidden, etc. I think when they see someone confidently rocking what they’re trying so hard to hide (under wigs, perms, etc…and I used to have that same mindset because I used to hate my hair), it freaks them out…maybe it’s forcing them to look at themselves and their hair.

    Keep rocking your beautiful hair with your head high! You never know who you could be inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. astoldbyali says:

      Thank you so much! ❤

      Like

  2. Nice post ❤
    I hate it when people touch my hair too. And when some ask annoying questions like ‘is that your hair, like virgin hair?” So annoying

    Like

  3. shaybelles says:

    Your hair looks beautiful! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. MumNatural says:

    Great post… think you may have mixed the write up for rules one and two based on the headings but they are so true… but I can’t say that I have experienced any negativity towards my hair or the way I wear it or maybe I just don’t pay attention to even notice because like you said our hair our rules so nothing else really matters. Our hair is our very own crown and we decide how we wear it 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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