First off, I haven’t actually been diagnosed with anxiety by a professional. However it’s the only way to explain my life. For as long as I’ve known myself fear has been a part of me therefore causing anxiety.
There’s the fear of heights – what if I fall? Fear of flying – what if the plane crashes? Fear of enclosed spaces – what if i get trapped? Fear of speaking in front of a crowd – what if they don’t like me? what if they laugh at me? It was always something and trust me to have a ‘what if’ question.
Why was I like this? What made me this way?
But that wasn’t all.
A part from ALL the thoughts I would have headaches, my hands would shake, palms sweaty, fidgeting, nauseous and I’d feel like my heart was about to pop out of my chest (basically a panic attack). These were the worst feelings ever, but they only happened on some occasions. Oh yeah, I’d also feel like breaking down in tears because I can’t believe something so simple had me reacting this way.
That’s the thing about it, the problem could appear minuscule or it wouldn’t even be present at that very moment but the anxiety is still there. It’s hard to explain when you don’t even understand it yourself. Another sad thing about it is, when you try to explain your feelings to someone and they label you as “crazy”,”looking for attention” or “always worried about something”. I assure you it’s not something you can control or feelings that you asked for.
I eventually had to make the conscious decision of not letting anxiety take over my life. After all, I have dreams and goals; I want to travel the world, explore different places and be able to present in front of large crowds.
For now, my way of coping is self-talk; I try to counteract all the negative talks with positives ones. Pushing myself to believe that everything will be okay and the universe isn’t out to get me. So try your best to stop thinking of the negative outcomes and ‘what ifs’ and imagine the positives that could result *
easier said than done, I know*.
When I sense a panic attack coming on, like I feel I’ve lost control of my surroundings I try to remember where I am. It’s like a grounding exercise to regain control and know that the world isn’t ending. I take long, slow deep breaths along with my self-talk in attempts to steady my heartbeats. Every time I exhale I think of a piece of worry being let go.
However, looking back on primary (elementary) schooldays to now it has gotten better. I have slight panic attacks on occasions but I feel more confident about myself now and handling them. It also helps to think less of what you believe others are thinking about you and just do your own thing. Remember: You can’t let anxiety run YOUR life. P.S:
Do you suffer from anxiety? What are your coping mechanisms?
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