Emotional bank account. What’s that?
I’ve never heard of this term before until a couple of weeks ago while I was attending a professional development seminar. It really stood out to me; therefore if you’re like me, a newbie to this term don’t worry I’ll explain it all in a few.
Just like a regular bank account, we have deposits and withdrawals in regards to our emotions. Deposits make us feel good – yay money in the bank; and withdrawals make us feel awful – damn I’m getting broke. On the flip side with our emotions, individuals can also withdraw from us and deposit into us based on their words and actions.
The important thing is the way in which we balance these accounts. Think of it as your work/life balance (or the ideal situation), but instead with your emotions. You can’t keep having someone take from you and you also can’t be the only one giving to that person and vice versa. Sometimes we may say or do stuff and not realize the effect it has on others, that’s why in each of our interactions we must not only think of ourselves.
[Related post: The Power of your Words.]
Here are a few ways in which a person (or yourself) may withdraw and deposit into an emotional bank account:
Giving a compliment
Listening when others are speaking
Respecting each other
Gift giving/acts of service
Lack of quality time
The lists can go on forever, but there’s a major difference between making emotional deposits versus withdrawals. Think back to a regular bank account, deposits are basically unlimited you can keep putting in money with no problem. However, withdrawals are not the same, when you keep taking out money there’s going to come a time when you’ve depleted your savings or gone into overdraft. It is the same way with emotions, what do you think is going to happen when you withdraw too much from your friend? Especially if they feel they deposit a lot into you; friendships will come to end. It’s always healthy to ensure you’re making more deposits into one another as opposed to withdrawals. Find your balance.
Can you think of any other deposits/withdrawals that you or other individuals make consciously/unconsciously? Let me know in the comments.